A day with friends at Quivira

Greg, Mia and I drove down to Quivira National Wildlife Refuge this afternoon. It was a gorgeous day - sunny, although the wind was chilly - and we were there until sunset.

Quivira has a huge bird population passing through at any given time, and they were swarming at sunset. I took a ton of photos and will be sharing more, but love this one of the three birds silhouetted in the marsh grass, while the sky is speckled with hundreds of others.

This is the longest amount of time I've spent in a car since surgery and I had no problems, I'm happy to say. Greg drove all the way so all I had to do was take photos.

After Quivira we went to Wichita for dinner together before Mia headed on to Joplin. I'm feeling much perkier the last couple of days. About a week ago I had a couple of days of just needing to sleep almost all day and night. Then I seemed to take a leap in healing and just feel much more normal since then.
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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more. Friend me on facebook.com. Follow me at twitter.com. All text and photos on this website are copyright Patsy Terrell, unless otherwise noted. None are to be used without permission. Thank you.

Glenn Miller Orchestra

The Glenn Miller Orchestra played in Hutchinson tonight. It was part of the Fox series, although it was held at Memorial Hall. Andrea called a couple of days ago and asked if I wanted to go with her to use Martha's tickets. Although I don't really know the music, I said "yes" because I try to always be open to fun.

Indeed, it was fun.

Most of the people attending were, like us, there to hear the music. But, a good portion of people took advantage of the dance floor that was set up. Unfortunately, no photos were allowed. It's a pity, because there was some great dancing going on. I did sneak some photos of my friends.

Andrea and I were talking about how we saw some of these same people at the chamber dinner last week and would never have imagined they could dance like they do. It was fun to watch people. Most of them were older, but there were a few younger couples, too. I'm amazed at the moves people had - very impressive.



Mia is out for Valentine's Day and she and Greg decided at the last minute to go to see the Glenn Miller Orchestra, too. At one point she leaned over and said, "If you squint a little you can imagine it's 1942." And it was true. It was cool to see people enjoying music from their youth.

I noticed as various songs were announced or started, the audience would "ooh" in unison. I chuckled thinking about it being 30 years from now and wondered if people my age would be having that reaction when things like  "Do you think I'm Sexy" by Rod Stewart or "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Meatloaf was announced. Those were the only two songs I could think of from my senior year in high school, which I assume is the correct time frame to elicit that reaction. Unfortunately, neither of those has the same ring as "Stardust." Maybe we'll be too embarrassed to react that way. I can only hope.
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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more. Friend me on facebook.com. Follow me at twitter.com. All text and photos on this website are copyright Patsy Terrell, unless otherwise noted. None are to be used without permission. Thank you.

Seeing Ourselves in Another Life

I've discovered that being largely housebound can be dangerous for the pocketbook. Unfortunately, the internet makes it easy to shop, without setting foot outside the house.

I am not prone to excessive spending, thank goodness. I have limited myself to some clothes I actually needed and some Avon that I will use. Tonight a package arrived that included a couple of more pair of thermals. And, just in time, because it's cold here tonight.

But I can see the danger if one were looking at a prolonged period of being alone with the net and a credit card for amusement.

I'm watching Diane Sawyer's "Hidden America" and it's bringing back so many memories of covering stories in Eastern Kentucky. When I lived in Lexington and worked for a TV station there we would occasionally go into Eastern Kentucky for stories.

Before that job I knew some fellow college students who were from the region, and I didn't understand their lives, although they were not all that different from my own in many ways. I could have been much kinder than I was. Don't we all feel that way at some point? That we could have done better. Maybe it's only me, but I can pinpoint dozens of times in my life when I had the opportunity to be kinder, gentler, more gracious, and failed.

While I had that job I spent a lot of time at the home of a man who had "escaped" a few miles toward the west and would only occasionally talk about his past. He was the best friend of my boyfriend and we would spend weekends together at his home. Forest was forever kind and generous with what he had and you could tell he had worked hard to get it. He never took it for granted, and I understood why. I still take nothing for granted and I bet he doesn't either.

When we would be in the region, I could easily spot the similarities to where I had grown up in Western Kentucky. There were places, homes, and families, that were the same as what we saw in Eastern Kentucky. But it wasn't as pervasive and there wasn't coal mining to fuel the ongoing cycle. But there were plenty of similarities to give the feeling of "but by the grace of God, there go I." I still have that sense whenever I see these sorts of stories.

I was blessed to grow up with a mother who valued education. She wanted me to get an education and did everything she could to facilitate it. I got a college degree and a job as a result. And I found a way to make a life for myself. And I'm grateful. Every day.

But I never forget how precarious such things are. I know people who are smarter than me who didn't find a way to make a life for themselves. It was not because of a lack of desire on their parts, but because they didn't have a support system of family and friends, or because they zigged when they should have zagged, or because they made a seemingly insignificant decision that had serious repercussions and they never recovered. And they weren't blessed with someone like Greg in their lives who has always been a tremendously positive force in my life - always supportive and kind and encouraging - who daily brings a different perspective to life and how it can be lived.

I'm always mindful that if being unable to make a decent life happened to others it could happen to me. After all, none of us is all that different from another. I go through my days feeling like I lead a charmed life because I have all I need and some of what I want. It's not that I don't want more security, but I know how precious any semblance of normalcy is.

Maybe if you've never witnessed such things, or known people who are fighting to hold on to the most basic of necessities, you don't think about these things. I can remember the bathroom being installed in the home where I grew up. I can remember bringing in coal for the heating stove that warmed the whole house. I can remember listening to stories of hard times, and knowing that despite what people would have you believe, hard work did not always keep those at bay.

I was very lucky - we were never hungry, and we were never living in squalor - but others were. However, there was alcoholism and abuse in my world, as there were in many people's. If you haven't lived with it, you can't understand it. Sorry, but you just can't. And no matter how it's explained to you you just won't get it. Not because you don't want to understand, but because words cannot describe it sufficiently.

It breaks my heart to see people struggling with such basic needs like food. It is a disgrace that anyone in this country is hungry. Ever. Maybe if you've never seen people hungry, through no fault of their own, it's easy to say they should pull themselves up by their bootstraps. When you've seen it's not that people choose those lives, but that those lives happen to them, it becomes a different story.

Maybe only when you realize it could be your story do you feel any compassion. Maybe that, in a nutshell, is the distinction between the liberal mindset and the conservative one. Maybe those of us who can see ourselves in that place, with those difficulties, feel a need to fix it. It's not altruistic, it's self-protection. We're frightened of what it means for us if that exists for anyone. Maybe conservatives can't imagine themselves in those circumstances and it's easy to point out the trail of bad decisions, not understanding that sometimes there isn't a good decision to be made.

I think I'll go say another prayer of Thanksgiving now, followed by one of entreatment.
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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more. Friend me on facebook.com. Follow me at twitter.com. All text and photos on this website are copyright Patsy Terrell, unless otherwise noted. None are to be used without permission. Thank you.

Free Advertising Advice

You know what they say about free advice - it's worth every penny you paid for it. That said, I'm going to dispense some free advertising advice, which you can choose to ignore or heed. I do have some training and experience with advertising so I'm not just blathering with no background.

Here's the advice. Do NOT make your children or grandchildren the stars of your commercials if you really want to get across some message. And, by the way, getting across a message is generally the reason for advertising.

I just watched a TV commercial for something - I can't recall what, which is a big problem - where two girls were singing some unintelligible song that had nothing to do with anything as far as I could tell. They were cute, but they were not star singers. Unless you're raising the next LeAnn Rimes, please, resist.

If you feel a need to include your children and grandchildren, question that. If you just can't stop yourself, make them extras in the commercial. If you just cannot control your urge to have them front and center, try to have them doing or saying something that is central to the product or service you're trying to sell.

Okay, that's it. Do as you wish, of course. But consider why you're spending that advertising money - is it to increase sales/awareness or to give a perk to the children in your life? They are not necessarily compatible.
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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more. Friend me on facebook.com. Follow me at twitter.com. All text and photos on this website are copyright Patsy Terrell, unless otherwise noted. None are to be used without permission. Thank you.

Homesick

The other night at the chamber dinner Rebecca Ryan asked a very thought-provoking question.

"What do you want to be homesick for?"

She said it was a question asked of her by someone designing a home for her. She struggled with the question.

I have to admit I've been struggling with it too. I think part of the reason is that it forces me to choose ONE thing, or at least a small collection of things, and that's always difficult for me.

But it's a very interesting thing to ponder - what do you want to be homesick for.
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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more. Friend me on facebook.com. Follow me at twitter.com. All text and photos on this website are copyright Patsy Terrell, unless otherwise noted. None are to be used without permission. Thank you.

The Medical Update

A few folks have emailed to ask how I'm feeling. I've been trying to not overload the blog with medical stuff, but I appreciate your concern.

Overall - I'm great. I can't believe surgery was only two weeks ago yesterday. I am moving around with no significant pain at all. I feel like doing some basic work. I'm very bored with TV.

I got the staples pulled yesterday. Dr. Wesley did it for me here instead of driving to Wichita, and he was very gentle, thank goodness. A few of them were a little painful but just a little bit. Mostly it was completely painless. He said the incision looks really good. He has been my doctor for a long time and it was good to check in with him after having such a major medical issue. I am comforted by him and by his nurse, Judy.

I haven't started driving, but feel like I could at any time. It's just a little uncomfortable to sit in the car seat because of the way I have to bend, so I haven't. And, I've been fortunate that friends have been willing to cart me around. Trish took me to the chamber dinner. Barbara took me to get my staples out yesterday. Greg has been my chauffeur since I left the hospital.

I am still having some atrial fibrulation issues and that is really a problem for me. My heart has not been beating really fast, but it is skipping a beat now and then. It makes me feel "not normal."

Feeling normal is what I so desperately want. I know. It has only been two weeks. I'm not good with being sick. I'm sure you've known people like I have who seem to thrive on medical care. They like to go to the doctor, hospital stays are something they don't question, etc. All I can say is they are made of much stronger stuff than me. I am a total wimp.

I just want to be normal. Physically I feel pretty good, other than the a-fib, but I still get very tired. I find myself napping multiple times during the day. I am not on a normal schedule. I sleep for a few hours, then get up for awhile, then go back to sleep, etc. Part of that may well be the a-fib.

Mentally I feel a little out of sorts still. I hadn't taken any pain pills for a couple of days but they encouraged me to take one at night to sleep so I did that Monday. Then I took one before getting my staples pulled, and another one last night. They do help me sleep for longer hours at a time, and that's good I suppose. I have to sleep in order to heal. The mental loopiness isn't related to the pills I don't think. I think it's just a matter of the brain and body saying, "Hey, what the heck, what did you just do to me?" I'm not sure how to describe it other than to say I can focus, but focusing for any amount of time wears me out.

I have been working some from home, easing back into things. There are things that just have to be taken care of. I'm fortunate I had plenty of sick time banked, but as long as I feel like doing things I'm going to.

The bills have started arriving, and it's ugly. But, I'm not sure what options I had other than to get this taken care of. I couldn't ignore it. So, I'll just have to figure that out. I don't know how that's going to work out yet, but I'm just trusting it will become obvious what I need to do.

I'm walking around in the house every day. I walk the circle through my hallway, living room and dining room over and over again. They tell me I did myself a world of good by walking so much in the hospital. So, remember this in case you have to have surgery - apparently walking in the days after surgery dramatically impacts your recovery and recuperation. Everyone seems amazed at how I look and how I'm moving. I still get tired, but am so thankful to have the benign diagnosis and to feel as good as I do. I feel like being up most of the day every day, with just brief naps and rests.

I'm not walking upstairs to go to bed yet. I'm still sleeping in the dining room on the hospital bed. But, I think I could start going upstairs almost anytime. Maybe this weekend I'll start doing that. I have a few steps coming into my house and I haven't had any problem with those. The first day I was very careful to hold the handrail and put both feet on a step before taking the next one. The following day I walked down them going somewhere and then realized I was supposed to hold the rail. But, I was in the yard by then so it was a little late.

I've been able to take a shower by just stepping into my tub. I was worried about that because I have an old tub that's tall. But I haven't had any problem with it. The difficulty is that I can't put the abdominal binder back on by myself so it requires someone to help me. This binder is a big rectangle with velcro on it - essentially a girdle. It holds everything tight so you don't feel like grabbing for a pillow if you start to cough or something. It's a wonderful thing although I sometimes feel like it's squeezing the life out of me. But, it's looser now.

When they weighed me yesterday I had lost 30 pounds. Of course, some of that was tumor and other things they removed, but there were also quite a few days when I just couldn't eat anything. Regardless, I'm not sorry to be rid of those pounds.

I am glad I had the chance to take care of my personal business before surgery - getting Greg set up with power of attorney and getting beneficiaries changed and doing the living will. I also took the opportunity to say something to someone I thought might feel bad if something happened to me. It was good for my own peace of mind that I took care of that, although they didn't respond to my note.

When Steve was out he asked if I went into surgery thinking that could be the end. I was very optimistic that it would be benign and all would be okay, but I was aware that any surgery is dangerous and that that could have been the end for me. I wanted to be prepared just in case. I think I've done everything along those lines I need to do, other than get my house in order, and the chance of that happening is so slim it's not worth worrying about.

Dr. Wesley told me yesterday that if he had had to say he would have guessed this was cancer. Obviously, that's what others thought, too. I feel like I can't really celebrate yet. I still want more confirmation. I am going to get a copy of the lab report and maybe that will make me feel satisfied. I think it's just that it was a few weeks of thinking about what it might be and I have to "come down" from that a bit I think. I was optimistic about the outcome before surgery, but I just need some extra confirmation now after thinking about it so much beforehand.
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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more. Friend me on facebook.com. Follow me at twitter.com. All text and photos on this website are copyright Patsy Terrell, unless otherwise noted. None are to be used without permission. Thank you.

Details and Tiny Moments

The details make life holy.

If you want a little happiness in life don’t forget to look at the little things.

It is a poet’s work to see the incidental, pluck it, place an appropriate silence around both sides and see the profound in what passes for a passing moment.

It is an artist’s job to as much discover art as create it.

Prayer is a way of making the common profound by pausing, tying knots around a moment, turning our life into a string of pearls.                                                                                          --- Noah Ben Shea



I ran across this quote today and it so perfectly sums up my approach to life that I can't believe I've never seen it before. It's just beautiful.

The first sentence alone explains why this blog exists. I started writing a blog in part to remind myself to appreciate the small events in daily life.

I believe it is in those tiny bits of life where the sacred resides. It is there, in the briefest of moments, that could slip by unnoticed, where we get a glimpse of who we truly are and how we fit in the world.

Only by seeing the detail can we appreciate the fullness of life. Happiness comes through small kindnesses and slices of life captured in crystal clear remembrances.

The ordinary is holy. It is our responsibility to recognize and appreciate it whenever given the opportunity. And the opportunities are endless.

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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, and more. Friend me on facebook.com. Follow me at twitter.com. All text and photos on this website are copyright Patsy Terrell, unless otherwise noted. None are to be used without permission. Thank you.