Search for the Dignity in Everyone

I hunger for meaningful conversation. Not chit chat about the weather, or idle talk about last Sunday's dinner, but meaningful conversation. I want to engage with people on a level where I learn who they are at the core. The surface is all the candy coating. I want to know people in a different way.

I've been thinking for awhile about starting another group to have an opportunity for that. As I was driving to and from Kentucky this time I was listening to podcasts and it occurred to me that I often read or hear something that makes such an impression on me I want to note it. I realized those sorts of things might be a way to facilitate moving a group from the surface to something deeper.

When something really makes an impression on me it's a spiritual moment. These are not to be brushed aside, but to be considered carefully. These are not experiences to be taken lightly. They should be given their due.

One of the phrases that caught my ear this time, that I made a note of, was the idea to, "Search for the dignity in everyone." I find that such a poetic way of imploring us all to respect our fellow humans. Search for the dignity in everyone. Isn't that lovely? I think I will remind myself of that phrase on a regular basis. Search for the dignity in everyone.

I had an opportunity this evening to apply that to a real life situation. When I'm out of the office I transfer the phone to my cell, and if I'm awake when it rings, I answer it - morning, noon or night. Tonight I've had two calls, which is unusual for one evening. After midnight I had a call from a woman who was suffering a mental health crisis. I'm not a therapist and I'm very careful to never give medical advice. This woman was not at her best, understandably so. She was not dignified in language or behavior. But, when we search for the dignity in everyone we can see beyond those things to the person - fellow human - who is hurting. This story has a happy ending. With dignity.
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No More Whining and Wallowing

I decided today there would be no more whining from me. It's January. Christmas is over for this season. There are tasks I don't like that I am responsible for. It's not my favorite time of year. Yadda yadda yadda. Enough.

I have wallowed in this long enough. So, today I stopped. Done. Moving on.



One of my stops today was the post office where I picked up a stack of cards that arrived after I left for Kentucky. This is always a treat when I come back - Christmas and birthday cards I haven't yet seen. Of course, there are usually some of mine in there that have been returned for one reason or another, too.

I did manage to accomplish quite a few work things today and some personal things tonight. Naturally, there's more to do, however.

One thing I did tonight was fix myself a decent dinner.



It was a spinach salad with toasted pine nuts, sauted mushrooms and Peruvian onions, and chopped fresh apple with a balsamic dressing. It was pretty yummy, although I think it could be improved on with a little twist of lemon in the dressing.

I need to eat more food that doesn't come with labels. I eat a lot of fruits and vegetables already, but I need to eat more of those kinds of things and fewer things that have a list of ingredients I can't pronounce.

Well, I need to get some rest. I have some appointments tomorrow that are going to take some energy. Best to start the day rested.
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The Blahs

I'm trying to get back into the swing of normal life but it is a struggle. I feel like I'm going through the motions and not doing it very well. But, there's nothing to do but keep going.

Tonight was Chicks, so it was good to have something to look forward to all day. Afterwards I started taking down Christmas decorations. I got the ornaments off the Santa tree in the sunporch, and part of them off the white tree in the dining room so I at least got started. I wouldn't say it's a spectacular start, but it is a start.

Part of my blahs is just that the holidays are over, which means the time off has come to an end. And, more than usual, I wanted to stay in Kentucky for Jackie's surgery this week. But, I had a pelvic sonogram scheduled for tomorrow morning and needed to get back here to do that, not to mention get back to work. So, here I am.

January is a really busy, jam-packed month generally, and much of it is stuff I don't particularly enjoy. Needless to say, that can make one feel blah also.

Maybe tomorrow will bring a wonderful, happy surprise that will lift my blahs right away.
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Home

I'm back in Hutchinson tonight. I spent last night in Joplin and had a great afternoon today with Greg and his mom. Going out to lunch turned into a five hour trip.

We went to a town about 20 minutes away to a restaurant we've been to before, only to discover that on Sunday they only offer a buffet. And it was bad. Very bad. We just looked at it and passed.

On the drive out there we had passed a place called Sandstone Gardens, and Greg's mom mentioned they had a restaurant there she had eaten at before. So, we headed back there and had a wonderful lunch. You can tell by the smile on Miss Joy's face.



Sandstone Gardens is a gift and interior design store/restaurant/statuary garden place. It's hard to describe, but it's cool. I'm planning to go back again.

You can tell they are planning on being a destination. They've got a huge parking lot and easy access from the interstate. I'll be eager to see if they're able to make that happen. I'm always amazed at places that accomplish that feat.

Cathy and I had lunch at Lambert's in Sikeston Saturday and, like every time I'm there, I wonder how they went from a little cafe to the empire they are now. Yes, the food is good. But the food is good at hundreds of little places along the road that do not become destinations unto themselves. I guess the marketing people would say it's "sticky," but I always wonder how things become sticky.

Maybe the Sandstone Gardens folks will talk to the Lambert's folks to get some tips. I want to go back in the summer and see how the grounds look.



After lunch and some shopping around the store - some of their Christmas stuff was half off! - we made our last stop of the afternoon. We went to the Downstream Casino that is a new addition to the landscape there. Greg had been there with some friends, and Greg's mom hadn't seen it yet. It's big news in the area, I guess.

I've never been to a Casino before. If you're a casino lover, just stop reading now because I'm going to tick you off. And there's no need for that.

My impression of the casino experience is that it's trashy - at least this one experience. And I don't mean a little trashy. I mean there might as well be black velvet decor, an adult xxx store, hookers for hire and an Elvis impersonator making the rounds with free drinks to keep you buzzed enough to forget you're feeding your money into a machine so you can push a button. Maybe they do have some of those things for all I know. But - word to the wise - the King is Dead. Elvis is NOT Alive and Well. Really. Honest.

I don't know what other casinos look like, but this was row after row of blinking, beeping machines in a cavernous room lit largely by the gaudy displays on the machines. At nearly every machine was a person hunched over it, glassy eyed, staring at the display as if it held the secret to life, a cigarette in one hand while the other hand methodically punched the appropriate "bet" buttons. They stopped only to feed more cash into the machine.

Frankly, I could see some entertainment value in playing the quarter machines for $5 or $10 worth of fun. But, that would require being elbow to elbow with the people who seem way beyond the "this is entertainment" phase to the "this is the next big win" phase. There's a reason casinos don't go out of business. It's because you're giving them your money.

All of that said, we had a lot of laughs during our 10-15 minutes there. I just couldn't spend much time with the majority of the other folks there. That is not my crowd. I'm sure there are some folks in there who are, but not the majority.

Apparently the casino regularly gives people free credit to play. You know why they can afford to do that? Because people are blindly feeding real money into the machines. But not me.

My outlay - $0. My take - a cool bungee cord they give you to hold your little card. I took the card off it and will use it for a jump drive or something. See, it's not true what they say about if you don't play, you don't win. I didn't play and yet I got this cool new bungee cord. It's not a million dollar jackpot, but no one else got that, either. And I still have all my money AND the cool bungee cord.
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Getting Back To Life

I spent the night in Joplin and it was great to have time with everyone here. Today it's back to Hutchinson and "normal" life. I dread getting back to some parts of my "normal" life and there's something horribly wrong with that. We should all be leading a life we love, not one we want to get away from. Many, many parts of my life are terrific, but those that I dread take a tremendous amount of energy from me. Obviously, I need to fix those things. I just haven't figured out how to do that and pay all the bills.

Masonic Tombstones in Ballard County Kentucky

Over the years as I've tromped around cemeteries for geneaology information, I've noticed tombstones with the Mason symbol. Masons seem steeped in mystery and I don't know what they're all about.

But, I'm fascinated that people felt such an affinity with them that they added the Masonic symbol to their tombstones. Sometimes it is given as much importance as the pertinent data about the deceased.



J. Alvis Grace, 1887-1920, gives over most of the informative space on his tombstone to the Masonic symbol. These photos were taken in the Mt. Pleasant Baptist Church Cemetery outside of LaCenter, Kentucky.



Not far away is this stone for George S. Myers, 1847-1918. I was taken by the decoration on the front of this stone. There is no other information on it than what can be seen in this photo and it's like a little box.



George W. Terry, Dec. 20, 1870-May 16, 1926 has the Mason's symbol uppermost on his tombstone.



John Robert Williams, Aug. 7, 1888 to Sept. 19, 1955 makes use of the Mason symbol where others might have used a dash.



W.C. Mitchell Feb. 8, 1878 to Feb. 3, 1941, does the same thing, but with a deeply engraved design for the Masonic symbol.



Robert Hahs, and wife Nancy, are listed on the side opposite the one given to nothing but the family name and the Mason symbol.



There's no indication of Nancy's affiliation.



The stone of William Reesor and his wife Maggie Reesor has the Masonic symbol above his name and a star above hers. I'm assuming the star is for the Order of the Eastern Star, which could be joined by either men or women. The men had to be masons and the women associated with a mason.

I also spotted this stone and wondered if the star on it referenced the Order of the Eastern Star.



One of the really interesting stones I saw on this little trip through the cemetery was this one for Dr. James W. Wallace. The stone is a Woodmen of the World one, which I understand from the wiki was a benefit of membership with Woodmen of the World until the 1920s when it was determined this was too expensive.



Wallace, born Oct. 4, 1859, died Aug. 29, 1915, has yet another monument. You can see the corner of it in this photo. It's a slab behind this headstone.



Of course, this is where the Mason symbol is.



I can only guess he felt enough affinity for the Masons that he wanted to add that to the Woodmen of the World tombstone.

It's curious, isn't it, what we feel such affection for that we want preserved on our tombstones. For many of us, a tombstone is our little bit of immortality. I would guess the most common designation on them is "mother" or "father," but for some an association with a group - a club, if you will - is so strong that they want to be forever identified as a member.

Is there any group you would feel such a strong affinity with? I can't think of anything that would rise to that level for me. I noticed none of these were recent. I'm not sure if that's happenstance, or if fewer people do this anymore. Obviously, the Masons must serve a real purpose in people's lives - or at least did at this time.

Depends on How You Look At It

New Years is a time when we look for a new start. Of course, we could get that new start on any arbitrary day we chose, but we have decided January 1 is it. I haven't been too keen on falling into the trap of making New Year's Resolutions for quite some time. It's a recipe for failure for me, so I stopped doing it many years ago.

I do, however, chose something each year to focus on. I haven't yet done that this year - partially because I haven't spent enough time with pen and paper to figure out where I should put my energies. It is never something like losing weight - while a noble goal, obviously not one I'm likely to carry out. It's usually something more esoteric than that.

I do know that at this time next year I want my life to look different - be better, more calm. The trick is how to achieve that.

I also know I need to have opportunities this year to give into my whims, to meet new people, to see different things. I have become far too staid in my daily life - partially because daily life has required more and more of me in the last few months. I have to figure out how to make daily life work for me instead of me working for it.

This evening I went to the funeral home. Mattie's mother died after a long bout with alzheimer's. Regardless of their condition, we are never ready to let go of our loved ones. I haven't seen Mrs. Scott in many years. Those years can slip away so quickly, although I'm sure they've seemed very long and arduous for her family.  Although my presence was not a comfort to anyone there I'm sure, it was good to be there to honor the grief a family is experiencing at a time like this.

It's a rocky way to begin a New Year. Or, it's a new beginning for Mrs. Scott. All of life - and death - depends on how you look at it.

Next week my brother, Jackie, will go to the hospital for surgery to remove a lung cancer. The prognosis is excellent for him. I wish I could stay and be here to help when he has surgery, but I must return to my job. That's the difficulty of having a life going in more than one location - it's hard to do justice to all of them. I know it's hard to understand for those who are living life in one locale - the way we were meant to.

It's by the grace of God that the lung cancer was caught so early. His last year has been a series of miracle blessings disguised as traumas. Again, all about how you look at it I suppose.

Maybe that is something I need to mull over as 2009 gets underway.